i am never going to be the same. i've been having one of those days where i tend to realize a lot of heavy stuff. i've been thinking about people @ home - friends/family. things just won't be the same when i come home. now, i dont know if that is going to be good or bad. it'll just be different. maybe for some relationships that will be a good thing, while for others it might not be so positive. even just being here for 3 weeks i feel like a different person. it's weird cuz i didnt feel different until today. i'm not sure what it is, i just feel as if life has a new meaning now. maybe i'll feel this change all over again when i start my internship because i'll feel really independent. right now, i'm just worried that things might not be as perfect here as they seem. i'm hoping i'm just in a funky mood and it passes. tomorrow we're going south to the coast and i'm excited to get out of the city for a little bit. maybe it's just that i've had too much down time today. i really haven't done a whole lot, which has left a lot of room for thinking and contemplating. i can definitely tell that living here is going to make me a stronger person. it'll be interesting to see how i merge that into my old world at home. i'm going to see a girl from bethel tonight. she's roommates with my RA in lissner and i met her randomly the night before i left bethel. it was definitely a God thing. so she's here for 2 days and i'm going to see her tonight. it makes me super happy. i didnt get to see bailey @ the airport which really bummed me out, but hopefully seeing naomi will lift my spirits. maybe thats where all this contemplative thoughts are coming from - seeing someone from back home. i hope i get to spend a sufficient amount of time with naomi. i dont even know her that well, but even just talking to her for like 45 min before i left home was amazing. she seems really cool, and i really admire her. her cousin goes to school here @ richmond, so that's why she's here. but God has me here for a reason and the changes that will occur in my life are meant to happen, and i'm going to embrace them. i want to change, just in the right ways. ways that will enrich my life and make me a better person.