i am never going to be the same. i've been having one of those days where i tend to realize a lot of heavy stuff. i've been thinking about people @ home - friends/family. things just won't be the same when i come home. now, i dont know if that is going to be good or bad. it'll just be different. maybe for some relationships that will be a good thing, while for others it might not be so positive. even just being here for 3 weeks i feel like a different person. it's weird cuz i didnt feel different until today. i'm not sure what it is, i just feel as if life has a new meaning now. maybe i'll feel this change all over again when i start my internship because i'll feel really independent. right now, i'm just worried that things might not be as perfect here as they seem. i'm hoping i'm just in a funky mood and it passes. tomorrow we're going south to the coast and i'm excited to get out of the city for a little bit. maybe it's just that i've had too much down time today. i really haven't done a whole lot, which has left a lot of room for thinking and contemplating. i can definitely tell that living here is going to make me a stronger person. it'll be interesting to see how i merge that into my old world at home. i'm going to see a girl from bethel tonight. she's roommates with my RA in lissner and i met her randomly the night before i left bethel. it was definitely a God thing. so she's here for 2 days and i'm going to see her tonight. it makes me super happy. i didnt get to see bailey @ the airport which really bummed me out, but hopefully seeing naomi will lift my spirits. maybe thats where all this contemplative thoughts are coming from - seeing someone from back home. i hope i get to spend a sufficient amount of time with naomi. i dont even know her that well, but even just talking to her for like 45 min before i left home was amazing. she seems really cool, and i really admire her. her cousin goes to school here @ richmond, so that's why she's here. but God has me here for a reason and the changes that will occur in my life are meant to happen, and i'm going to embrace them. i want to change, just in the right ways. ways that will enrich my life and make me a better person.

looking @ pictures from my walk makes me happy :)

hopefully we're going to the coast this weekend. there's a cute little down in south england called brighton and its gorgeous i've heard so i think we're going. :) :) :)

i dont wanna shower....

i should brush my teeth....

i'm tired....

i'm happy :) ...

i miss my mommy....

well i found a purse :) i was pretty proud of myself. it was a 30 pound purse, and i told the lady all i had was 10 pounds. she gave it to me for 10 pounds :) haha. i've been walking in hyde park and kensington gardens the past few days and it is SO beautiful. the garden/park is literally 2 blocks away from me...pretty much my backyard. i went with desi yesterday and for an hour by myself today. the sun was out today, so the scenery was just...breath-taking. i dont think the pictures can really show, but oh well. i've just been chilling in my room today (besides the walk). i did have a meeting with my internship advisor. I talked to her about a counseling agency i saw in the paper working with kids and families. she had the idea of TACT. its an orphanage. i told her i would be interested, so she's going to look into that. we'll see where that goes.

i got to talk to laura (my sister) on skype today :) ... that was good. i wish i got to talk to her more often. i got to talk to lizzie a little bit on facebook last night...and carter of course :) love talking to that kid. :)

i want to plan all my trips to places like rome and greece and barcelona....i wanna get the flights booked so they cost less. i have edinburgh figured out. i'm going with the school trip. same with wales and paris. ireland we'll stay with laura's sister. the expenses of these trips are stressing me out, but i don't really wanna focus on that. money is always gonna be a stressor.

we were going to go skating today, but its a lil more expensive than we anticipated. so far i've only spent 20 pounds this week....its only tuesday, but so far so good! that includes my purse :) haha.

hmmm....time for a blog! it's going to be hard trying to remember everything i've done since i blogged last. well, let's see. i've had more classes since then. i also had an interview with operation smile. me and another girl interviewed there. they could only take one of us because of space issues, and they took the other girl. they said her past experiences were more pertinent for the position. it's really weird. i've never actually been turned down for a position or anything. i dont say that to be snobbish, but i'm very driven, and i have a lot of professional experience and i usually get whatever it is i aim to get. hmm..i think this is a good learning experience for me. honestly, the real reason i wanted to be @ operation smile is because they compensate for travel and food. i think this is God's way of telling me that it wasn't the right place for me to be @ and He has a better agency in mind for me. i'm actually kinda excited to interview again...see where it is and if i like it....and if i get it! haha....

i really love it here in london. we've been taking the tube a lot this weekend, and the buses too, and i just sit and look @ the city and love being here. sometimes its hard. i miss my friends @ home and i miss my family. i'm very much a people person, and i want to be with everyone everywhere all @ the same time. obviously that's not realistic, but ya. missing people is normal, so i'm not super concerned about it, i just have to remember that just because i'm the one studying abroad does not mean that every else's life should revolve around my time here....haha sounds elementary, but an important thing to remember.

we've gone out a lot this weekend, and its been super fun, but its time for me to stop spending money. we went to the portabello market today and it was amazing!!! oh i wanna go back there so bad. i am DEFINITELY taking my mom there when she comes in march :) she will love it! :D ah i'm excited for her to come visit!!!!!!! i bought 3 pashmina scarves for 5 pounds....def a deal! :) i'm excited to wear them too. ugh, i'm so not looking forward to going through all the money i've spent this week. ugh!!!! i hate the money situation!!! i think thats part of why i've been stressed this weekend....i feel as if every pound i spend is literally a pain in my chest....that sounds ridiculous, but checking my bank statements online has been the most dreadful thing of this entire thing....ugh!!! ugh ugh ugh.....i wish i was rich and didn't have to worry about money. everyone in kensington is rich. ugh. maybe i should find a rich london boy who can support me. not. london boys just cause trouble, lol. that is 1 thing i have learned in the little time i've been here already lol

oh boy. ok...i'm not quite sure what else to blog about...maybe i'll think of something later. oh! we went to primark!!! its the store that bailey told me about and she was right!!!! everything is so cheap!!!! omg its amazing. i love love love it! that is where all my money is going to go. that and portabello market, haha. i need to get a purse. the little wristlet i have is good for going on to like pubs and stuff, but for shopping and everyday life, i need a real bag. and a wallet. a wallet. gosh i really need a wallet, ahha....maybe i'll find a cheap one @ primark....their purses look kinda cheap tho...hmm.. we'll see

ok, so here are a few pix of my dorm....building/street where i live....i hope this works

who knew a gym could be so pretty :) haha


ok...so going to the gym was ridiculous. its a really nice facility, but we got lost on our way home. it took us close to 2 hours, when it should have taken us less than half an hour. me and laura were both really annoyed....i am sick of getting lost. it was super pretty tho. we were in the richmond area, which is kind of like a suburb of london. super pretty. laura compared it to harry potter :) haha.

we just chilled last night and watched a movie. it was really good just to relax and not feel pressured to go out or anything. we borrowed a movie from some guys we know. its funny cuz its the guys i met in the airport from minnesota. i knew they had the movie we wanted to watch, cuz one of them was watching it on the plane, hahaha...so we went to their apartment and got the dvd, and they have THE nicest place. they have a brand new bathroom with marble floors, a full kitchen, and a great view!!! tons of room!!!! so jealous...i guess they had more study abroads than excpected, so they got put there as like overflow. apparently the regular students have to pay 2000 extra pounds to live there. i can see why; its so nice!!!! we made a deal with them that we'll cook for them if they let us use their kitchen to make food on the weekends when we dont have meals in the dining center :) haha. they were def ok with that! :) haha

after the movie we walked back to the room and i skyped /w mom and dad for a little bit. this morning i had a internship seminar. they basically told us a bunch of stuff i already know. i've done plenty of interviews in my life, so i feel prepared. my intern advisor told me she hopes to have my operation smile interview set up by next week. i kinda wanna get it over with so i can be sure that im placed there instead of making tons of "tentative plans" since i can't really plan anything concrete.

ok....i think thats all i got. oh, i was telling a friend that i learn so much from my british culture class!!! its legit interesting. i've learned about british TV, british travel, everything. our prof was saying how london isn't on a grid (like the streets and stuff) because it kinda just grew sporadically. it makes it difficult cuz everything looks the same and confusing, but its really pretty, so i'm ok with it. i like walking everywhere.

ok now i'm really done. for real.

i changed my blog up :) i was bored /w the old one. :)

so today is dreary as usual. its london, gotta get used to it :) ... last night i got to talk to my family!!! both parents AND my brother and his fiance :) it was so good. it really made my day. i feel like i haven't really gotten to talk to them much (i haven't talked to ted & kelsey @ all) so i really really needed too. :) def made my week that much better.

i still need tape. i wanna put up all my pictures on the walls (cuz they are huge and white...terrible) but i dont have tape...hmm....must find that.

i think laura and i are going to explore the richmond campus today. wanna use the workout facilities. should be fun. heard its pretty. and the gym is free!! like actually! not 30 freakin pounds a month, haha.

this is a shout out to carter :) thanx for following bud ;) love ya :)

so since my lazy night in, i haven't done anything too exciting. sunday was good. i did laundry and after that me and some girls went out to this pub that one of our tour guides told us about. well turns out the tour guide lied to us! well, idk if he meant to lie, but the pub he told us about was closed. so my roommate and emily found this other pub. it was impressive that they knew their way around, cuz we were in a part of the city i had never been to before. we made it this pub called white hart. apparently one of the murders from jack the ripper took place there. sweet. haha. it was fun. we payed 1 pound to play a bunch of american songs :) haha. a british friend of laura's showed up later. after we left there, i headed home. put on pj's. no one was home to skype, so i just went to bed. fun eh? ;)

today was the 1st day of classes. i dont have a class until 3 (but that'll change once my internship starts in feb). slept till 9, went to breakfast @ 930, was going to go the gym @ imperial, but slept instead. me and laura got ready and went to this lil grocery store called waitrose. i got cereal for 2 pounds (which equals four dollars) and some salmon crap for 3 pounds (which equals six american dollars). i REALLY hate the exchange rate. i feel like i have no money and i am always hungry. i seriously sometimes think i'm going to starve. not fun. it sux, cuz our meal plan here @ the college is breakfast and dinner. we can't eat lunch unless we pay for it out of pocket. once my intership starts, that won't matter cuz i cant come back here for lunch anyways, but for now it really sux. food here is expensive. specially since i'm living in the most expensive area of london. ugh. i dont even want to look @ my spending journal. it gruesome. anyways, so we got food, ate it, and went to our contemporary british culture class from 3-6. it was ok. i really like the professor. i've learned a ton about england just from the 1st class. he's really fun so thats good. i think i'll like the class. then we RAN, and i mean literally ran, back to atlantic to get dinner. we only have 1/2 an hour for dinner and the classes are about 3 blocks away, so we had to book it. we scarfed down our food, and ran back to the classroom building for our last class, fashion and media. that class was cool too. i'm a little unsure of what we'll be doing for the class, but w/e. its about fashion :) haha....so after class me and laura were gonna go to imperial gym. we made it all the way there. we found it all by ourselves, then the crabby lady told us that its 30 pounds a month for a membership. ya right! so we walked back and now i'm blogging. the end