there has finally been some snow falling. i've been waiting for it all month. i'm a little sad because it might mean that i won't see my cousins for christmas, but overall, i'm glad its here. i'll get to go snowboarding once before i leave :) i'm super excited about that. that past few days have been hectic; trying to wrap up last minute christmas shopping, make sure i have presents for everyone. money is too tight this year, but i hate people always talking about that, so i wont. if you're spending money on the people you love, than there should be no remorse.

an interesting part of being home lately is realizing something. my family does not see the changes in myself. over the past few years, but over the past few months especially, i have truly become a different person. my family doesn't see that. they see the person who i always was; no different. but i am different. it makes me want to say "hey! this is me! nice to meet you!" and tell them the following:
i love coffee - i drink it all the time
i like music where the male lead singer sounds like a woman
i love my roommate...a lot...
i think before i speak
words of affirmation is one of my biggest love languages
i love hockey...i'm slightly obsessed. i dont play it much anymore, but my ideal night would be sitting on my futon, sipping a cup of steaming hot coffee watching a hockey game with my roommate in the room
i'm a pretty good driver. my roommate, who grew up in the twin cities, calls me, who grew up in iowa, for directions
i'm almost always the driver, and people trust me to drive
i like to buy clothes and food
i save my money, but when i want to spend it, i do
i love hanging out with my guys friends. they make me feel good about myself, but i do not want a boyfriend.
i am very content being single
i do not like people who whine/complain/nag...so i do not do those things
i do not like being judged
i love putzing around in sweats
i love getting dressed up and looking cute
i like going to small cafe's and concerts with my roommate
i believe words are a powerful tool and must be chosen carefully


looking over this list i know that some of these things are just the way i always have been, yet at the same time, some of them have come about from much changing that has happened in my life. and going away to london for four months is not going to stop the change, it is only going to expedite it. i am going to be so wholly different when i come back. i only hope that i will be able to stay that way. sometimes when i get around my family, i feel myself revert back to my old ways. they treat me like a whiny younger child, so i act that way. they expect me to start fights, so fights happen. it can be really frustrating. but someday someday. they will see the changes in me and know me for who i really am.